Funny Stuff My Kid Says

The Funny side of Autism is always worth sharing, through all the hard times we need to hold onto the joy as much as we can! Here is a collection of some of the most random things my daughter has said. I like to keep a list in my phone so I can always have a laugh when I need one. I’m sure many quotes are missing from this list, but listed below are my favourites; enjoy!

• “Honey you need some rest, no more farts”
• “Mom, are you done sh*tting?” (I couldn’t even be mad at the swear because It was just so unexpected and hilarious).
• As she was getting her Halloween costume on she says: “I am a costume!”
• “Time to brush your teeth, come on cowboy!”
• In a very small waiting room at the doctor’s office, we are sitting packed in with people who are all talking, which clearly bothered her as she goes: “Can you guys stop?”
• While waiting in the checkout line at the market, she’s squatting as a lady comes up to her and asks what she is doing, she says: “Go away” (This was so funny to me because people don’t know how to take her, she just says whatever she wants and the look on this lady’s face was quite funny. Don’t expect an autistic person to lay down boundaries politely haha ).
• I’m asking my husband where he’s going and she says: “Mind your business, Grandma!”
• *Her little brother is getting a bum change* She comes over and says: “Mommy and Daddy are gonna EAT YOU!” (Where does she come up with this stuff?!).
• “Mom, can I have true loves kiss?” (Can you guess what movie this is from?).
• “You’re gonna be in trouble, you do not poop in the garden” (She’s said this many times and to this day I have no idea where it came from, I promise you none of us have ever pooped in the garden….)
• I ask what she’s trying to say, she responds: “It is a mystery* (That it is).
• “I can’t smell like a baby nugget”. (“Baby Nugget” is a common script that came out of no where one day).
• “Holy moly craperoni”
• “Mom wake up, you’re dead!” (For a second there, I was nervous that she knew something I didnt!)
• “Ew, did you fart in my coffee?”
• “Time to fart!” (Farts get brought up a lot in this household…)
• After she met her brother when we came home from the hospital: “Can we keep him?” (This one warms my heart every time I think about it).

Share any of your funny moments in the comments! I would love to see them! 🙂